Motel Montana

Posted: January 17, 2014 in creative writing, Everyday Life, Humor
Tags: ,

I was somewhere in numbfrick Montana. So far in  the sticks I had to drive 70 miles to the closest mom and pop motel. There was no identification of the town’s name anywhere, even my GPS was confused, recalculating, recalculating! To this day I have no idea what town I was in. I was beat and the feel of a bed was going to be so good.

The room was small. When I opened the door, it hit the edge of the bed, I could only open it half way. I had to push my suitcase inside ahead of me and sort of toss it on the bed before I could squeeze in. The building was more like an attached garage with an upstairs apartment. I was on the ground floor.

I didn’t check out the bathroom, I didn’t have to, I could already hear the toilet running. Years experience has taught me to try to not think about the bathroom or shower.

First order of business is to throw the foam filled bed spread off the bed and on the floor, never use them. I swear I see an impression of a body in the fetal position sunken into the mattress. Looks like I’m sleeping on top of the sheets tonight.

I have a floor pounder. In hotel motel speak that is an asshole on the floor above you that walks like he’s in a marching band halftime show on a football field. You can run into them in any motel, best to the worst. They must pace all night long, heel to toe. Moves constantly. Feet pounding an uneven rhythm. Two thumps, five thumps, three thumps, a cruise across the room from the bathroom to the air-conditioner. Pound pound pound. He must be skipping up there.?

Shut the hell up and settle down you ignorant piece of crap, please! Take a sleeping pill for gods sake. How can anyone keep moving so much?

Oh man, now it’s the thump, thump, thump, thump, thumping headboard against the wall. Even noisy when making love or what ever he is doing.

For crying out loud! Turn down the fricking TV!

Let’s just say I passed up the morning breakfast buffet.

Such is the life of John.

  1. Sandra says:

    Motel 6

    The rabbit moon shimmers an offering in my glass,
    every swallow, a super nova – I cling to that anger,
    and midnight blazes.

    Another sip and I might forget the taste of your lips.
    Another taste, and some spark in his eyes
    could remind me of yours, and though the touch

    of his hands is not your touch,
    (forgive me) I’m pulled to its warmth,
    as snow melt to mud, in the spring.

    Men conquer the darkness with fire,
    women winter with scorn;
    the earth never moves.



  2. Ugh! What an unpleasant night! 😦
    I’ve been to Numbfrick, NM and stayed in The Motel Hell there! 😉
    Ugh on the foam-filled bedspread! All I can think about is all the ughy bodily fluids on them! I hear they don’t wash them very often. 😦
    One time, in a hotel, the people next to me must of fallen into a drunken sleep, as they left their TV on LOUD, ALL night!!! So, in the very early morning, when I left my room, I saw they had the “Do Not Disturb” sign on their doorknob. I had to get up early to attend a conference. So I turned their sign around so it said, “Maid Service Please”. I was hoping the maid would go in and wake them up! 😉 😀
    Yah, that was naughty of me! Oh well! 🙂
    I’d like to hear more motel stories if you have them!
    I’ve blogged on a few of my experiences!
    HUGS!!! Happy Whee-kend!!! 🙂


    • Now turning a room’s do not disturb sign is naughty but oh so brilliant! 😀 My hotel motel stays have been pretty uneventful if you discount getting stuck over a weekend in a Hotel that was having an Anime character convention. 🙂


      • I figured if they kept me awake all night, they shouldn’t get to sleep all day! 😉
        Oh, wow, on the Anime convention! 😀


        • Hundreds of teenaged to grown up people dressed in different costumes from a convention center next door, some very skimpily, super hero to warrior to big eyed Geisha girl. Also all during a large senior prom photo shoot outdoors. Then the tornado warning sirens sounded. Odd, odd afternoon. :/ The hotel lobby was a storm shelter location, all of us (hundreds)crammed together in the lobby and bar. Strange surreal day.


  3. gpcox says:

    A typical night out in numbfrick anywhere! Good story, lol.


  4. Each line made me twitch slightly more. If you’re ever in SE Texas look me up. I have a tent in the back yard I can guarantee it will be a better nights sleep…


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