Swear A Lot?

Posted: February 6, 2014 in Everyday Life

I swear a lot. It is just how I speak normally. Years of training have taught me exactly the right syntax. It is an art to know when, how and for what reasons to swear. I come from a long line of swearers.

swearingI can’t remember not swearing. Even as a child I thought in swear words but only spoke them when I was alone or with another my own age. My father, the expert swearer, would land a slap squarely on my face on the occasion that a swear word slipped out. “Do as I say, not as I do”….? Huh? I was doing as you say. I was swearing! I gave up trying to figure that one out. But I think it was part of his training, teaching me when and where it is appropriate to swear. This you learn very quickly with the slap of a hand. But when I swore appropriately he never threw me a cookie, a good teacher would have thrown me a cookie.

My mother never uttered a swear word, never, she was a Methodist. She was a saint, albeit a Methodist saint. No swearing, ill words, criticisms or bad thoughts were ever uttered or emitted from her. It’s true, I’m not exaggerating. But she did not care whether anyone else did those things. That is what she taught me. That’s how she and my father got along. I think she lived her wild life through him. I guess I learned how to be good and when to feel guilty from my mother and how to have fun and how to appropriately use bad behavior from my father. A very balanced upbringing as I think about it.

I can only speak for myself here. I have no idea how my siblings feel about this. I do know that I am the better of all of them when it comes to cursing. I’m not sure my brother and sisters had the same training as I. I was the youngest and my folks had pretty much loosened up on how to raise a kid by the time I arrived. I’m not around the clan enough to notice if they have filthy mouths or not. Or perhaps they just learned better than I where it was appropriate to use such language. A couple try to present themselves as religious but even I, who sees them seldom, can tell they fall way short of the sainthood of my mother. In fact they are probably more like my father in many ways.

So as I come to the end of this thoughtful post, without uttering one swear word, by the way, I will simply ask a few questions. Take them as rhetorical if you must, but I would like to know. Are you shocked by swearing, do you swear and when is it appropriate? I fucking need to know. But I suspect that everyone swears, even if only under their breath.


  1. SandraErickson says:

    I’ve worked most of my adult life as a care giver. Preschool teachers do not swear, neither do nannies, nor YMCA after school counselors.Β 

    That said, I taught my mother to say “fuck” and am teaching my granddaughter the necessity of environment appropriate language.

    As a wordsmith, I feel that it is my responsibility to use language as effectively and creatively as possible, Β and there is nothing gets attention faster than a preschool teacher using profanity. Ha.


    Sent from Samsung tablet


  2. Darn, this is a great freaking post!
    Crap! Son of a buck! I love hearing people swear!
    Heck, I’m not much of a swearer, but I let one fly once in awhile…not in anger, but when it just seems to fit the situation!
    I taught Kindergarten for years, so I got used to having to watch words carefully.
    Shoot, I think I answered all your darn questions!
    And I hope you enjoyed all the swearing in my comments!


    • Darn it Carolyn! You are freaking amazing at translating swearing into socially acceptable words πŸ˜€ It would be very interesting to hear what you would say if asked to let it fly! Just this week someone told me I was full of bull manure. Somehow putting it that way didn’t make me feel any better. πŸ˜€


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