Christmas Letter

Posted: December 23, 2014 in Christmas, Everyday Life, Seasons

I try, I really do but this time of year is an ass kicker. Oh, I’m doing OK, no problems here with me or mine, no needs and we all have our health and we are prosperous, probably better than most . Our lives are not perfect but I’ve expected irregularities my whole life. So I will not do it. I’m not going to write a duplicated Christmas letter to send to my friends and family.

Does anybody want to hear once a year from the perfect idealized family in the burbs? Honestly. Don’t they realize that it sounds like a lot of, what we call where I come from, happy horse shit. If all of your kids are getting straight A’s, are Captains or just have never had to sit on the bench during a football or basketball game, have full scholarships and your spouse won a promotion at work and you had a perfect Easter break vacation at Steamboat Springs,Β  go ahead and send me a two page single spaced Xmas letter trimmed in mistletoe and holly. I will read it and feel good for you but I got to tell ya, you have the most boring family that I am acquainted with.

Tell me that your teenage daughter has never slammed a door to her room muttering “I hate you, I hate you” and I will believe that you as a father have never had a conversation with your little girl. You are a man, you know nothing about teenage girls and what they are going through. Hell, you don’t know anything about grown women, or are you going to tell me you are a lady’s man too. Your daughter is probably going through emerging womanhood, trust me you know nothing about womanhood. If you have talked to your daughter at all this year, you have pissed her off. Don’t tell me in your Xmas letter you have a harmonious family life if you have a daughter at home between the ages of 13 and 16.

Tell me that your son Chip has never come home at 3 AM in the morning or has come home with a combination of the smell of beer and Spearment gum on his breath and I will suggest to you that your son needs to get a life and experiment with a few things. If he is 16 to 18 and putting more effort into football and studying than he is in chasing girls, drinking a little beer or following an alternative Punk Grunge rock band and worrying you by not getting home at a decent hour then I’m going to find it a little hard to read your yearly sugar-coated Xmas letter.

Having teenagers at home is an exciting time in a family’s life. I really loved it, I really did. It should be one problem after the other or your kids aren’t being prepared properly for life. They should be worrying the hell out of ya or you are missing something. Life is not as harmonious as the Christmas letters imply, not for teenagers in these times.

Now you that are thinking about a Xmas letter try to remember that most families are not harmonious. Most families are scraping by, doing OK, paying the mortgage and car payment. But they don’t have much extra money. They are keeping the kids in decent clothes and a lot of families that are lucky are having three square meals. There are just as many that don’t have these things. My childhood memories of Christmas are probably more like what these families experienced.

Many kids grow up looking forward to Christmas but in a whole different way. Christmas is a dreaded time of year for so many families. Mom and Dad try, they really do try to make it a happy time of year for everyone but their money is short, their presents are not so spectacular and chances are the teenage kids will be working at a fast food or retail store during their Christmas vacation not in the mountains skiing. But somehow the family may be able to make just a few happy Christmas time memories that the kids will remember and talk about among themselves for the rest of their lives. The year of the ugliest tree, memories of what little gifts that Mom was able to put in the socks laying under it. Most have very few shopping days before Christmas, most have to wait for payday, the parents and the kids, before that special present can be bought or picked up in lay-away. I won’t list all of the disappointments that families can have during this time of year, chances are most reading this experienced a few bad times as well.

So please, if you’ve had a great year this year be a little sensitive, don’t perpetuate this stupid Xmas letter custom. Chances are you are embellishing and most people can spot embellishment a mile away. Your letter looks more like a resume for perfect family of the year. I love ya, I’m happy for your family and glad you are doing well, but tone it down a bit and if you send out a duplicated Christmas letter, please make it short.




  1. Ha! I love this! You said it well! πŸ™‚
    There was a TV show Everybody Loves Raymond that had a VERY funny Christmas letter episode one year. I love that watching that episode! πŸ˜€
    Thanks for all the fun and wisdom and encouragement you’ve given me this past year, SweetJ! I hope you and your precious family have a wonderful holiday season! πŸ™‚
    MUCHO-HUGS to last you until the New Year!!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your fun and horsing around this year. πŸ˜€ It has been great! πŸ™‚

      Best of the Season to you and family too, SweetC!

      If I don’t hear from you until, here’s a New Year’s Resolution to Hug more back at you! πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 9bianchistreet says:

    Merry, Merry, DSS.

    Liked by 1 person

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