Winter Sanity

Posted: February 1, 2015 in Humor, Seasons

Depressed, but you have to write that first word.

As I sit here looking out our front window watching the rain turn to crystal flakes, I find it appropriate today to be the first day of February, in my opinion the coldest month of the year. I hate winter. I usually keep all of my writing from being rants or hate messages but winter is an exception. I truly hate cold, icy, snowy, slick, frigid, overcast weather. And once each year I have to get it off my chest.

Some go so far as to say that they love winter weather, the snow, the ice, the fucking animal footprints in the snow. Not I, I can give a rat’s ass for that kind of weather or whether a rat’s ass makes a cute impression in the snow drift being blown across my driveway. I don’t care how many snow angels the kiddies make. I could give a shit. It is cold, wet, and psychologically damaging weather. Think of all the things we humans have to have to just live simply. Warmth, sunshine, fresh food, all are in short supply during the winter. Life itself can be threatened. Or your sanity. It is the only time of year I use the words “rat’s ass”.

The obvious loss we suffer each winter is warmth and daylight, we have hours less sunshine and during the few hours we do have sunshine it is hitting us at an angle that it is not effective. This has a proven negative effect on the human mind. Like it has done to me today, early this morning I found myself gnawing on my wireless mouse. Never mind the increased heating cost, I just want to quit gnawing on this mouse. Cabin fever from just a mild storm lasting only two days can drive ya nutz I tell ya!

There are people in this State of Kansas that have been stranded in their car by the deep snow blizzards of the northwestern part of our state. Stranded for days in their car living only on Girl Scout cookies and a single bottle of water and thermos of coffee. Winters are deadly in this state. A guy could die in this kind of winter weather. To this day, when I travel in the winter months I make sure I have at least one box of G.S. cookies with me, preferably the  Do-si-dos,  you know , the ones that are ‘ “Naturally Good!” Crisp and crunchy oatmeal cookies with creamy peanut butter filling. No artificial color or flavor.’ or Samois, the ” Tender vanilla cookies, covered with caramel, rolled in toasted coconut, and striped with a rich, chocolatey coating.” I don’t leave home without ’em! You must be serious when it comes to survival rations in this kind of goddamn winter weather!

Wait a minute, I think I see the sun peeking out from under those clouds. The wind is subsiding a bit and I think the ice is now beginning to melt off of the 4Runner’s windshield. Look at that damn squirrel, he’s digging up a fricking dried walnut from the yard, silly little bastard! I feel like Allen Shurman, “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh, kindly disregard this letter!”

You remember Camp Granada don’t you?

E.

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Comments
  1. secret to survival— heavy quilts. No. Not in the car. in the house, VERY HEAVY ones…drag em into the office, or in front of the fire or just on top of the ones already on the bed… HEAVY WEIGHTED COZY QUILTS, piled deliciously on very, naked skin… plus socks- ok those are just for me… hey…it gets me through…

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  2. Excellent write!
    It helps to get the Winter rants out…at least ranting warms a person’s body! 😉
    I am one of the winter-weirdos that finds things about Winter that I enjoy. Yes, you can go ahead pelt me with snowballs! 😛 I deserve it! 😀
    But, I know depression gets worse for some people in the Winter…and SAD is a very real thing. For those people, I hope Spring comes soon…and with it the sun, the flowers, the birds (who went South earlier! 😉 ), the Peeps, the Easter Bunny, the Spring showers, etc. 😀
    SunnyHUGS, with 🐛 🐛 🐛 (bugs!) !!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That depends on what part of the country you live in. I don’t know but I’m guessing you live where there are mild winters. 🙂 Also I’m surprised you didn’t mention the Girl Scout cookies 😀 That was supposed to be my humor injecting antidote, I’m really exaggerating here, as in trying to inject a little humor into this otherwise humorless season. 😉 So I’m pelting you with snowballs. I’m really not as depressed as it may sound. 😀 I just need an excuse to annually use the words “Rats Ass”.

      But I wont be too hard on you SweetC, The snowballs will be very soft, you always find the good in the bad and we do love ya for it. 😀 🙂 But the groundhog saw his shadow, 6 more weeks of this! :/

      Thanks for the winter bugs and hugs! I do feel warmer! 😀 I do love your comments, too!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I live in the mountains…same elevation as Denver. So we get some Winter. But, not as much as I’m sure you do. Ha! I almost said something about the cookies, but if I commented as many things as I thought about, my comment would be longer than your post! 😉 😀 Ha! Well, you can say “rat’s ass” anytime you want to! 😛 Yes, Phil looked shocked himself, about his shadow and more winter. 😀 Thanks, I enjoy your posts muchly mucho! 🙂
        BTW: I are sick today. 😦 Sinus infection and asthma. Oh well, it’ll pass soon. 🙂
        Non-contagious-HUGS!!! 🙂

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  3. I like those GS cookies with coconut and chocolate. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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