A Loss

Posted: February 23, 2015 in Everyday Life
Tags: ,

Before sunrise, only a few minutes before man’s machines start to pulse and moments before dew appears on window panes and on each blade of grass, there is an indescribable silence. The birds have not awoken, the far away dog barks have tired and are now asleep.  Kitchen windows are just starting to glow and inside a slow hustle is beginning but seen only as faint silent shadows through drawn paper blinds. I try to breathe in those brief quiet moments, but instead only inhale the warm memories of home, the smell of sizzling bacon and fresh brewing coffee.

When my sense of sound is being deprived, the other 4 sensors fill the vacuum  by enunciating my sense of smell, vision and feeling. I get a heightened  sense of silent stimulation. Colors are brighter, smells are deepened and both physical and mental feelings are peaked. A very good time for love-making, during those silent moments of the day.

But in the same way that the street light’s mercury vapor glow of the city prevents me from seeing the detail of the stars and the heavens of the night sky, I’m sure that the sounds, racket and roar of man’s noise of the day prevent me from hearing clearly the natural sounds of the universe. How many miles from the glow of the noise of the city must I go to hear in detail the sound of the clear water brook or the whisper of a warm mid-morning breeze? I think I am missing these noises and others that have become as extinct as many other living creatures of my world.

Silence can be deafening. When there is a low voice, a thump in the night or even just a sound of a barking dog, and I can’t hear it, the sound of silence is indeed deafening. As I gradually lose my ability to detect life’s and the universe’s sounds, I still sense the few moments of the morning’s silence. But I am more aware of competing noises, I can hear when two people are talking at the same time but I’m unable to understand either. I hear and understand the dialog on TV but when a competing musical score is added, then I’m unable to understand what is being said.

Years of sitting behind noisy aircraft engines. Descending quickly from many thousands of feet in a parachute jump plane with painful “popping” ears and driving with high ambient noise in earthbound four-wheeled vehicles has slowly stolen my hearing. I wore what I thought was good hearing protection but obviously it may not have been enough. It may just be that loss of hearing with age is in my DNA helix. My grandfather and my father in their older years were very “hard of hearing” also.

Regardless of its cause, the silence that I will be having in the future will not be that beautiful morning silence that took me back to a more colorful time. What I will be hearing is the silence of the loss of one of my more cherished senses. I can only hope that my other four will be brightened enough to make my loss less painful.

As I age.

Such is the life of John

 

 

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Comments
  1. (you realize everyone is going to start shouting at you on here, too…?)
    JOHN! YOU REALIZE EVERYONE IS GOING TO START SHOUTING AT YOU ON HERE,TOO…?

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL !!!
      YES, THE SHOUTING HAS ALREADY BEGUN. I pity my next door neighbors while staying in hotels. But the loud tv hasn’t brought on too much wall or floor pounding so far. At home I am more mindful of the volume of my music and movies. When I work in my garage, I’ve been told my music can be heard all the way to my road side mailbox. 🙂

      Like

  2. Aw, 😦 such is life, John, and the process of becoming well-seasoned.
    Maybe you are just inflicted with “selective hearing”, like most men! ??? 😉 😛 So, I will lend you my good-female ears… 👂 👂 Sorry, I had to tease you! 😉
    Yes, that IS the perfect time for love-making. 🙂
    I love the visuals in this…so vivid. And the emotions, too. I hate even thinking about losing any of my senses (notice I didn’t say “sense”…I lost my sense years ago and replaced it with nonsense! 😀 ). The thought of losing any one of the senses makes me sad. But, I guess we will learn to cope and continue to thrive.
    Hang in there, Dude! 🙂
    (((HUGS)))

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Selective hearing …. maybe. I’m not sure that I’m going to hear that. 😀 Well seasoned ears, I may need to borrow some because mine are well over seasoned. :\ . 😀 Well done, 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • HA! “well over seasoned”… 🙂 and 😦
      You can borrow my ears…they are still working well!
      I know some men who tune me out when I start rambling and being goofy…but, then I tune them out when they talk about certain topics…so both men and women have selective hearing at times! 😉
      HUGS!!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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