The Teenaged Century, 2016

Posted: January 2, 2016 in change, creative writing, free verse, Humor, Life, love, peace, poet, politics, war, writing
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Well, another year begins. 2016, if this century could drive, it could get its driver’s license this year. It is at that awkward teenage time of life. Its male side is walking around with a perpetual boner and not really knowing what to do with it. And worst of all, centuries don’t have thumbs and can’t effectively do anything about it anyway. So we don’t know what kind of trouble it will be getting into compensating for either short coming. The female side of this teenage century feels like she is 21 and doesn’t understand that there are no older male centuries out there that she can relate to. She wants to move ahead and start acting like an adult, although she is not quite experienced enough to survive in it. Very frustrating century age for her to be. Tempers on both sides can flare!

As you can see, we living in this 21st century teenaged age are living in a very critical time. If either side of this 2016 age doesn’t get laid soon, we are going to be in a hell of a mess. Just look back through past century’s teenage years and it will scare the hell out of ya! Many cruel historical events happened in each century while in its teens.

So what’s it going to be, this 2016? Will our male side of the century continue blustering around overcompensating for its short dick by getting bigger guns, building for war and self-protection and pushing the downtrodden,  the poor and displaced. Or will it just calm down a bit, read some good books, learn how to drink, smoke a joint or maybe just get a magazine and grow some thumbs. Get rid of some of that testosterone. Chill for Christ’s sake! You are only 2016!

And the same for the 2016 teenage century girl side. Trust what your 20th century mother has told you. Your mind will grow into your lovely new 21st century body. The man side will soon see more in you than just sex. There is time for you to make a huge mark in the world. This will be your century. Just enjoy your youth and don’t try to grow up so fast. But learn to compete with the male and female assholes! You are only 2016!

I’m sorry I have to talk to you this way so early in the year, 2016. But it is a very critical age you are living and lots of people are depending on you. So take your old Uncle ShipSmoke’s advice, and try to play nice this year, calm down, take a breath. I’m getting old, my bones hurt and I need the rest. But try to shut the fuck up and enjoy your time here!


(Thanks DSS! , E or OC couldn’t have said this any better themselves.  John)

  1. HA! Love this! 🙂 Very creative idea to compare 2016 to 16 year olds….and where they are in life as they look to adulthood.
    You are right! This year could be lovely, with good memories made, good goals accomplished, the future looking bright! 🙂 Or it could be disaster! 😮 2016 could get pregnant and marry a dopey and have some bumpy times before finally growing into maturity. 😉 😮
    HUGS!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • 16 can be a time of awakening for a kid, even maybe a century can look upon things a little differently at that age, too. 😐 With the right guidance. 🙂
      Oh I hope that doesn’t happen to it. But it would make them think of more than just themselves. At least they would be making love not war. 🙂
      Maturity, that is what we must hope for, so far there has been little emerging from 2015, I think our fourth estate is letting us down putting all emphasis on outrageousness and little on meaningful and intelligent political debate. I hear only 2 or 3 sensible voices out there and they are getting little notice or mention.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This year will be like watching a train wreck. Otherwise I am going to keep positive and concentrate on self improvement. 🙂


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