Peanut Butter

Posted: September 22, 2016 in free verse, poem, poet, poetry

04:17 AM, dark, quiet, only the glow of the laptop illuminates my fingers as I write. My eyes sting and water, from the contrast light and tears roll down my cheeks. Removing my glasses helps a little but the eye strain of tired eyes may force me to lean to the side of the couch, shut them and catch a few moments of rest. Sleep, glorious sleep, I’ve forgotten how.  How can a man forget how to sleep peacefully. How can he put aside the previous day and stop planning the next. How fast can the mind run from one subject to the next , retracing what he has done and placing in order  all the things that need done the next day. Hell, the next week, the next month, the next year. When did sleep turn into only rest?

04:33 AM, I’m reminiscing  about the year spent in Colorado, re-drove the trip I took to Seneca, KS yesterday, every turn, every road, every quick stop that I had passed. The medium black coffee I picked up at the drive through cost $1.07. Gas was $2.08.9. The date …..the 21st. Sun straight out of the east, Equinox is tomorrow, wait Equinox is  today. The street light is intermittently turning on and off. Why is my mind racing? Why do I feel so alive?

04:43AM It is so quiet, my mind is producing its own sounds . Man can not stand total quiet. Try it the next time you find yourself without the surrounding noises of life and the world around you. You must wait until after midnight, usually by 3:00AM most noise stops in my area.  But the next time you are left with no outside noise, listen , not hard just listen, you may hear yourself, your stomach growls, your heart beat, your breath. You may even hear what I call your mind sounds, listen, there may be squeaks, pops, level tones or hums.. Your mind makes them because it is not getting any outside stimuli . When you are going deaf, your mind makes up for the loss by making its own noise and perhaps mourns the loss of  it..  But if you are hearing voices……. well, we all know what that means.

04:56 AM   Maybe if I would just listen to some music.

05:07 AM Enough with the music… why is it OK to get stuck with and hear repeated music in your mind but it is a sign of craziness to hear voices? Hummm, I’ll have to look that one up.

05:12 Well, time for coffee, toast and jelly today or toast and peanut butter?  Peanut butter.

 

 

 

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Comments
  1. Ret MP says:

    “mind sounds” I like this term very much.
    (now go take a nap. I need one, too. Looks like we were both up in the night!)

    Like

  2. Love this!
    I’ve had similar conversations with myself! I have some of my best self-convos early in the a.m. 😛 Love the question at 05:07! 😀
    Peanut butter, yes! 🙂
    HUGS!!! 🙂 Happy Whee-kend!!! 😀
    OH…PS…I posted about a movie you all might find to be good.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. iampeacenow says:

    Very good introspective post. Peanut Butter = protein :-). peace to you

    Liked by 1 person

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