Well, it is finally done. The old gallbladder is out of there! Let the healing begin!
Not going to lie to ya, I’m never going to have that done again! The first day went wonderfully the first few hours before the surgery. Up at 4:30, showered, scrubbed down with special antibiotic soap, padded dry just like the instructions, dressed with loose clothes, sweat pants and my best Hawaiian shirt and new Skechers. I must say, I looked marvelous. We were out the door by 5:00AM.
At the surgery center 15 minutes early, 5:45, just like the instructions. Waited at the door until 6, when they open. Still don’t know why they wanted me there before they opened . But it is surgery, they will be sticking me with needles and cutting me with very sharp knives, best that I do exactly as they say. Don’t ask unnecessary questions.
Sarge, my nurse, that’s what I call him, directs me to strip off everything but my socks and put on the gown, open side in back. Raise your hand everyone who has stood naked in a cool room with nothing but socks on. That always spells trouble, discounting perhaps your wedding night. I finally get the gown figured out, the tie strings finally tied but no matter how I tie them, my ass is still hanging out. Now I understand why they want you to put them on backwards. Oh well, its surgery, let the gown and everything else just hang. They’ve surely seen everything anyway. Obviously, Sarge doesn’t care.
“Are you changed yet?” A woman’s voice.
“Yes, come on in.”
She is taking my vitals. Heart rate, O2, and blood pressure.
“Everything is a little high today..”
“Yaaa! Sarge is on the other arm trying to stick me with a couple needles for the IV! Ouch! Sorry Sarge.. I’m a little tense today.”
Sarge says “Be still and could you please keep your gown closed, I told you open side to the back!”
Sarge is a little tense today, too. Like I said before, it is surgery, keep your mouth shut and don’t say anything unnecessary.
I don’t remember much after that. Just the ride to the operating room, sliding onto a very uncomfortable table, a mask over my face and “Sweet Home Alabama” playing in the background. Just what I needed, Lynyrd Skynyrd fans for a surgical team. It is surgery, I hope I kept my mouth shut.
It has been two days, I still can’t get that damn song out of my head.
Such is the life of John