Posts Tagged ‘stories’

In a Texas clinic hallway, an OBGYN doctor was heard saying, ” I finally discovered her problem! She has a Texan AND a Supreme Court Justice up her Uterus!!”.

Texas, again you are not making any sense. Telling people that asking you to wear a mask is stepping on your liberty but a total stranger, in another state, with no contact at all with a Texas woman, can bounty hunt her Texas vagina for $10,000? What kind of lawmakers do you have down there? Just askin’ ? They may be more backward than I ever thought. I’m from another state and normally I would not comment about what they do down there, but I guess they have now opened the door.

I love ya, but man!

E.

 

 

Let’s face it. There isn’t much to talk about while sitting here in a Northwestern Missouri Holiday Inn Express. I guess I can only talk about what I have here. Two Queens, a refrigerator, ground floor, near the exit. That’s my criteria. I like a choice of beds, use one of them to stack my coat and computers on, a solid floor and if the damn place catches on fire, I want a short unobstructed run or crash through the window out of here.

I definitely don’t want to talk about the 4 or 5 hours of restless sleep and endless info-commercials.

How many years have I been doing this?

6:00 seems to be the time for breakfast. Breakfast, round patties or dog sausage, powdered eggs (I think, sometimes they sort of gel together like a solid custard). They will be scrambled or formed into a tortilla shape.I haven’t figured them out, I don’t eat them. Biscuits and gravy seem to be a staple to eat first thing in the morning. Don’t biscuits and gravy sort of settle in your stomach and sit there all day? I have never figured that out, I don’t eat them.

Coffee is good. I mix my own, one half decaf, one half caffeinated, black. I never take a cup or a lid from the top of the stack. Can you imagine how many fingers have handled those? If I have to, I take each from at least three down. My advice, bring your own cup. The yogurt is surprisingly good, Yoplait Original, 99% fat-free, excellent. I usually stumble down the hall at 6, grab my coffee, 2 – 4 oz.cups of Yoplait and spoon, sit down close to the TV, realize it is permanently tuned to Fox News by the three Ditto heads that are sitting close to the biscuits and gravy, get up from the table in disgust, take my yogurt and coffee back to the room. Hopefully the management has subscribed to the weather channel.

Very interesting hotel, it is always warm and dry here, the showers are great, the cable or Sat signals are usually good and the floors always appear to be clean enough that I don’t feel like I have to wear my socks all the time.

I give this establishment 3 and a half stars.

Oh, just a tip, be nice, turn the air conditioning to high cool when you leave. Make sure it’s cool for the housekeeping staff, they work very hard. A hot room is their pet peeve.

Is that a Waffle House or IHOP I see down the street?

Such is the life of John.

The Name John

Posted: October 14, 2015 in Humor, story, writing
Tags: , , ,

distantshipsmoke says this on my friend Carolyn’s blog in reference to a link that describes what a person’s name means.

Ha! I’m a man with three names. I won’t look at the link, but I will tell you what this John’s name means:
 Determined, kind to everyone, I would rather fish than do dishes. Seldom does either. Not a leader nor a follower, tries to be a loner but is drawn to others. Witt that no one understands, If you are named John, it was probably after a relative, a grandfather, an uncle or a cousin twice removed that was a preacher.
I’m serious 😐 😉  DSS”

I’ve been thinking more about that since my quick reply to Carolyn. And have a few more things to add to the  “John” definition.

I’m sure in one of the books of names “John” has meant “shepherd of sheep” because I have had many days in my professional life when I truly wished I had chosen “shepherd” as my occupation, but it probably would have been called “sheep herder”. Or in the local newspaper under court proceedings, lover of sheep. I’m sure the shepherd business has its complications, too. They say it gets very lonely out there in the hills.

But seriously, now I’m really serious, if I’d been lying, I would have said “But honestly”. But seriously, can a name define us or is a name defined by us? As an extreme example, I’m sure that in 1930 the name “Hitler” had a different meaning than it has since the 1940’s. There are dozens of examples of the man or woman that has defined the name. Take the name “Sonny and Cher”, it has a whole different meaning now than it did before 1964. Any other couple that I knew before that with that name didn’t sing, they were just the Blandino twins living just down the street. Another very good example, “Pink Floyd”. before 1967, Pink Floyd was just your red headed nicknamed neighbor living just down the street. (I had a very funny neighborhood ,that Vine street, and didn’t realize it at the time.) The list goes on where the man / woman defined the future meaning of a name.

If you wonder why I bring this up, I’ll explain.

Take my wife’s and my name. Please! I was named John in April 1951, my wife was named Marcia, with a “cia” in 1950. How would our parents have known that in late 1951, Stan Freberg, an ad writer and comedian who had a huge hit in 1951 with a recorded single, “John & Marsha,” a “soap opera parody in which two people seduce each other with the words “John” and “Marsha” over and over to organ music.” And the Stan Freberg name suffered no such recognition. The bastard! Why didn’t he make a recording of “Stan & Mary” ? But noooo, John and Marsha with a “sha” and my wife with the added discomfort of having to correct everyone that when they read it now pronounces her name “Mar see aa” and spells it with the “sha”. It stinks I tell ya!! Honestly.

I hadn’t heard the “John..Marsha” thing for years and I thought it had finally ran out of popularity until the series “Madmen” brought it up again last year. The bastards!

Such is the life of John, Sheep Herder