Where’s the Now

Posted: January 20, 2014 in creative writing, Everyday Life, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Something is getting in the way of the creativity. My muse is mute. I’ve got nothing new here. It is a new year, I should be looking forward to starting anew, wiping the slate clean, beginning a fresh start but I don’t have that feeling this January. I hung a new calendar but I hung it on top of last years, like I need 2013 as a reference to use for this year. It is 20 days into the new year and I’m still living in 2013, really just continuing on with projects so large I see no end to them. It’s conceivable I could still be working on this same project until I retire a few years from now. It could be my one last large project that I will work on in my career. I see no new fresh start here, I just see time marching on and I will have no more clean slates or empty calendars and it’s too late for any fresh starts.

My next fresh start will be my retirement. I am preparing for retirement years in advance also. I have wonderful projects progressing along at home, projects that have also gone on for many years, projects that I have great enthusiasm for. I will then have time to finish them. But with all this planning it seems I may be loosing the now. I’m always planning the future or red lining blueprints of the past and not spending a whole lot of time in the now.

The present, there’s not enough of it, it is the time you spend relaxing, having a drink, a good meal and conversation. Having a good write. I need more time to write more than 300 words at a time. I miss the present, the few quiet times of the present….

DSS.

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Comments
  1. Sandra says:

    Sounds like midwinter to me. Hang in there…spring is coming, soon.

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  2. gpcox says:

    Smart move – be prepared!

    Like

  3. Good luck on finishing the projects.
    And on prepping for your retirement.
    January can be a tough month for many people, for many reasons…please hang on! Spring is on the way! 🙂
    And “Spring” can be the season, AND an emotional fresh start!
    🙂
    HUGS!!! 🙂

    Like

  4. 2013 was the hardest year of my life. Somewhere along the way I convinced myself that if i could just get through 2013, 2014 would be a new fresh start. That once the calendar flipped things would change. I am sure it was a mental survival mechanism at work. It managed to drag me into 2014, on life support perhaps, but I made it. Just to now be nearly a month in and have zero change for how I felt in 2014. I hung too high of expectations on 2014. Perhaps they will pan out somewhere along the way. I have my new survival goal of June. I figure, hey, it’s attainable.

    And wow, way to bog down your comments with a rambling, maudlin, depressing one all about me.

    So, after all of that… Live in the now more, for soon it will be the past. (Maybe not soon enough for me.. haha) Lean back, put your feet up, and breathe deep once in a while.

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  5. Apparently I write very disjointed sputtering sentences at 6am…

    Like

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